Quitting Smoking A.K.A. "Why I Have Been a Complete and Utter Bitch This Past Week"

Just finished reading Diary by Chuck Palahniuk. No this is not going to be a book review post. Although must say it's AMAZING and you should go out and read it.

The concept I found most interesting in the book was that it speaks a lot about the great artists throughout history, and how their greatest productions came through their greatest suffering.

 Ironic, since I just went through the most physically torturous week of my life, and came out with no inspiration whatsoever. I kinda feel like

 "I just quit smoking, and all I have to show for it is this lousy blog post."

 It's been a full week since I quit smoking. Well 288 hours to be precise. But hey who's counting right? Who has counted the amount of times I have wanted a cigarette? (852) Who has counted the amount of people smoking cigarettes that I have walked past? (19) Who has counted the amount of people I have snapped at? (12) Who has counted the amount of times I wanted to crawl up in a ball and die? (6) Who has counted the amount of times I walked to the liquor store to buy a pack and turned back halfway finding some miraculous inner strength? (2) Who has counted the life I am saving from a lifetime of medical complications? (1, supposedly)

Do you need an answer right this second?

 See, you may think I am being melodramatic... "It's only cigarettes, it's not like you gave up heroin. Shut up and get over it" I hear my haters yell. Firstly I would like to thank the haters for taking the time out of their heinous life to read my blog. Secondly, F* you buddy. Do you know how terrible quitting smoking is? I am not exagerating when I say that I have never felt this terrible in my life. That being said, yeah it's probably not as bad as heroin withdrawals. Can't imagine what those are like if nicotine withdrawals are this freaking miserable. I have had the beautiful opportunity to wake up in the same house as someone who did heroin and who spent the entire morning puking and dry heaving from the withdrawals of the heroin. Yeah, heroin is dumb as hell kids, don't EVER EVER try it. That being said so are cigarettes.

 Don't get me wrong, I am nowhere near recovered. The only reason that I am sitting here writing this, is because I can't go out in the garden and have a cigarette so need to occupy my mind. I still think cigarettes are beyond glamourous (Have you seen my Tumblr? Half the images are of beautiful cigarettes!) and I don't know what I will do when I hangout with my smoking friends. But I figure if I can do this for a week, I can do this for a lifetime, right? Right?!?!

 Here are some highlights to what you can expect when you quit cigarettes.

Quitting smoking may also result in murders.
A lot of them. An intense craving for nicotine

• Anxiety, tension, restlessness, frustration, or impatience 
• Difficulty concentrating 
• Drowsiness or trouble sleeping, as well as bad dreams and nightmares 
• Headaches 
• Increased appetite and weight gain
•  Irritability or depression 

Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. Check.



But the first night I also found myself waking up in the middle of the night from Nausea and started throwing up. WTF? This isn't heroin. Where did that come?

After the end of the first day, while the other symptoms remained the nausea and vomiting subsided. But then came back in the evening, when I changed my nicotine patch. Well, get this, turns out the Nicotine Patch has some side effects of its own.

 Mild itching, redness, burning, and stinging at the application site may occur. Nausea,dizziness, flushing, or headache may also occur. 

 Cool, so not only am I suffering from  great symptoms such as intense cravings, intense irritability, loss of basic motor functions, a piercing migraine, becoming a fat slob etc. from the nicotine withdrawal, which the patch is BARELY helping, but then you add nausea and dizziness to that marvelous equation, alongside a beautiful rash on my upper arm. This is just terrific I started thinking. So before I started throwing up again, I ripped of the stupid patch and decided to go through this process alone. Took a day off work, cleared all appointments and tried to be productive. Well, what really happened is I spent 5 days in bed watching terrible tv, wondering where I went wrong in life.


 So if you're reading this and thinking about quitting, Good luck mate! But let's just say that after a week, you start to feel a teeny tiny bit better. But hey, you can always try the hypnotherapy and let me know how it goes. I personally have a fear of old creepy men sedating me and being fully unconcious around them, but I've heard its worked for others.

I guess I should end on a positive note, so here. Good shit that supposedly happens when you quit.

 Peace out,

from your irrational, irritable, impatient yet somehow still loving

Becky.